what i heard the other day

older gentlemen can be a vocal problem on the bus. older people especially in general, but usually you find that if you address them with a sir or ma'am, it irons things out or help a lady with a bag getting down the stairs, etc... but then you find just plain strange questions, like:
an older man got on my bus one day and held me up and the line behind him, when he began asking, as he was getting up the stairs, which side of the bus will the sun be shining on on the ride to nyc? i don't know, but he apparently thought that this was valuable information. perhaps, i'll take note of that one day.
and this happened yesterday, i pull into new paltz and this older gent asks if i am going to new york city. yes. manhattan? yes. where in manhattan? the port authority. which one? which one?!? the one and only port authority in new york city. is it the one near the bridge? i mean, my nyc geography is still hazy, but as far as i know there is only one pa in the city, even the two sides are connected and that i would say makes it one building. i mean, in fact, manhattan is an island and so if you ask me if something is near a bridge, chances are it is, everything is near a bridge in manhattan.
this one bus gives a few odd beeps now and then. its nothing too serious, a few crossed i think somewhere but it seems to happen when someone enters the restroom. the odd part about that is that the transmission gear selector beeps. someone asked me what the beeping was all about and i told them, but i had really wanted to tell them that it was my alarm clock but not to worry, i had just hit the snooze button.
which brings me to one of my favourite bus driving jokes. two men in a bar. one man says to the other, you know, i've been thinking lately. about what? says the other. oh, about when i die, that i want to die like my father did. oh yes? how's that? he went peacefully in his sleep, not like his screaming passengers.