car miles

so the other day, i got the typical and boring job that many a go for gets... pick up the boss at the airport. aw gee... one of the dispatchers hands me a slip of paper and winks, i got a special assignment for you. the way that he said 'special' told something was very, very wrong. i looked at the paper, handwritten directions to the albany airport, a flight number, arrival time and beside it all, the name... mr. b. it didn't take rocket surgeon to figure it out that it was the owner and not me being referred to as mr. b. at first i thought that they wanted me to take a bus to pick up one man. ok, a little bit of overkill, but a whole bus to pick up one man...? where was i going to park it in short term parking? i could see a problem reaching out for the little automated ticket that stands at car door level from six feet up in the bus. it turned out that i had to drive mr. b.'s own suv there and pick him up. special assignment... don't worry, the dispatcher said, he'll want to drive his own car back home. i was somewhat unimpressed by the man that i had met, having never met him before, you expect the millionaire to be debonaire, suave, three piece suit and a killer attitude... the man that i met was a tired middle aged man who looked if he could not be the millionaire owner of a bus company, then he would still be content to live in his parents basement. frumpy, in need of a haircut and carrying a sports bag, he looked like bill gates in need of diet pills. i handed the keys back to him, here you go, guess that you can have these now. oh no, he said, looked at me, I'M exhausted, been flying back and forth from florida since this morning. i looked at him, the man still had salt from his in flight pretzles sprinkled on his sports coat... tired? did he know that i had been awake since 6? dying in that chair in the drivers room? waiting through it all for an assignment... he didn't even change time zones, how could he be jet lagged? or tired...? did he even think what if i had been just driving all day... that i had been sweating over passengers back and forth from new york for the last nine and a half hours and now i was way beyond my limit, especially after his uncomfortable suv... did he ask? no... he yawned, too many complimentary cocktails and that baggage line, gee, enough to tucker you out for good. so, i drove back... and my paycheck reflected the extra sacrifice... in a separate little column were the words 'car miles' for the service that i had performed... and oddly enough, car miles paid more than driving a bus.
this past sunday, i did another long island trip. it was a new one and one that the owners are trying to drum up a little support and recognition on, get the ole college kids to give it a try. so much so do they want this to work that i was met at the park and ride in mt. sinai by not a man walking up to get on the bus as i first thought, but the snappier dressed mr. b. junior with a bunch of flyers, 'just stopping by to see how it will work... maybe you could pass these out to the kids?' when i began this run in new york, i had never driven it before, in fact, i didn't have a routing guide, maps or directions. it was all faxed into new york for me and i had a good ten minutes to read it and try to absorb it. i was a little hesitant about the trip, i did, in fact, get turned around twice, but hey, whats a trip to long island without missing a dinky little street sign or two or missing the starbucks that is on the other side of the road, hidden within some shrubbery and trees that is supposed to be your guidepost? not a real trip to long island at all, thats what i say! mr. b. junior asks if i've done this trip before, if i have all my directions, yep, still hot from the fax machine, etc... and then he asks... do you know how to get to the roosevelt field mall stop? at first, i wonder if he's testing my memory, but then i read him the directions as typed on my page... he doesn't know either. at least i wasn't the only one lost on the island.
i realised an interesting thing as well... odd, but horses are not allowed on the long island expressway. go figure. i wonder what horse miles would pay?